The Empty Nest: 31 Parents Tell the Truth About Relationships, Love and Freedom After the Kids Fly the Coop

The Empty Nest: 31 Parents Tell the Truth About Relationships, Love and Freedom After the Kids Fly the Coop

A heartwarming, wry, and often surprising collection of essays about the next rite of passage for Baby Boomers: what happens when the kids leave home As the baby boom generation ages -- the oldest are now turning sixty -- many of them are learning to deal with a whole new way of life, after the last child has finally moved out and they are, once again, alone. It's the same milestone their own parents faced, but as with so many other markers, this generation approaches it in a whole new way. In this fascinating collection, journalist Karen Stabiner has assembled essays from thirty-one writers about their own experience with the empty nest. Parents whose children left home last week join those with grandchildren to explore how life changes once the offspring leave (unless, of course, they move back in again later). They represent the full range of experience -- from traditional nuclear families to single parents to gay parents to grandparents -- with humor, grace, and poignancy. " The Empty Nest is a deeply affecting banquet of thoughts on the only love that must grow toward separation." -- Jacquelyn Mitchard, author The Deep End of the Ocean and Still Summer "Anyone dreading, savoring or recovering from their child's entering [adulthood], will recognize themselves in these bittersweet, boldly personal essays from more than 30 parents. . . . Packed with hard-earned wisdom and snippets of advice, this comforting collection by pining parents softens the blow of the inescapable." -- People Magazine "Highly readable and engaging." -- Washington Post "Honest, insightful collection . . ." -- Hope Edelman, author of Motherless Daughters "Skillfully gathered and edited by L.A. writer Karen Stabiner . . . these writers create a much-needed road map . . . [Many of the] stories are rich with the kind of honesty you won't hear at graduation -- stories of difficulties and rawness that keep the anthology from becoming too predictable." -- Los Angeles Times "Sometimes funny, sometimes heartrending, this book is a valuable road map through one of life's most daunting transitions." -- Arianna Huffington, author of On Becoming Fearless Karen Stabiner is a journalist who writes about food, health, and family issues. Some of her previous books include Family Table , a two-year collaboration with James Beard award-winning Michael Romano; the novel Getting In , a comic look at the college admissions sweepstakes; My Girl: Adventures with a Teen in Training , a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award; and All Girls: Single-Sex Education and Why It Matters . She is a regular contributor to the Los Angeles Times ' Opinion section, and her work has appeared in publications including the New York Times , the Columbia Journalism Review, O: The Oprah Magazine, Vogue, Los Angeles Magazine , and the New Yorker . She lives in New York City with her family. Mama, don't let your kids grow up to be independent. Maybe then you won't suffer the longing felt by the parents in The Empty Nest. Karen Stabiner has assembled a survival guide -- or commiseration guide -- for parents whose kids are leaving home. The essays, penned by writers ranging from the well-known to the lesser-known, focus primarily on college, but a few discuss children leaving the nest to join the military or move to another state. Contributors include syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman, Newsweek columnist Anna Quindlen, writer/actor Harry Shearer, novelist Susan Shreve, professor and journalist Roger Wilkins, and Hearst magazines editorial director Ellen Levine. Two recurring themes punctuate the essays: My child is leaving, I'll miss her; and my child is leaving, now what? Many of the anecdotes are boo-hoo worthy, such as in "Regime Change," when New York Times writer-at-large Charles McGrath remembers drop-off day at college: "A quick hug, a wave, a promise to call, and, in an instant, he was gone." And it's tough not to get weepy as Stabiner herself remembers, in "Proof of Love," experiences leading up to her daughter's departure for college. Each, she says, "was a chance to build up calluses so that the real thing wouldn't hurt so much." Happily, the writers explore unexpected pleasures, too. Letty Cottin Pogrebin is better able to enjoy sex without her kids in the house. Marian Sandmaier relishes her newfound freedom from the daily worries of child-rearing. Among the most moving essays is "My Cart," by sociology professor Harvey Molotch. In unsentimental prose laced with humor and poignancy, Molotch, whose wife died when their children were ages 2 and 5, tells how his grocery-shopping cart reveals his life: One day he's buying Chocodiles and ketchup; the next he's scanning the high-fiber aisle. Yes, the empty nest is a rough place to be. But take heart: As these highly readable and engaging essays show, you're not alone. And, there are always the grandchildren. Copyright 2007, The Washington Post. All Rights Reserved.