Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives

Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives

“Is it wrong that I wanted to underline every single word in this book? Simmons brilliantly crystallizes contemporary girls’ dilemma: the way old expectations and new imperatives collide; how a narrow, virtually unattainable vision of ‘success’ comes at the expense of self-worth and well-being. Enough As She is a must-read.” —Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex From the New York Times bestselling author of Odd Girl Out, a deeply urgent book that gives adults the tools to help girls in high school and college reject “supergirl” pressure, overcome a toxic stress culture, and become resilient adults with healthy, happy, and fulfilling lives. For many girls today, the drive to achieve is fueled by brutal self-criticism and an acute fear of failure. Though young women have never been more "successful"–outpacing boys in GPAs and college enrollment–they have also never struggled more. On the surface, girls may seem exceptional, but in reality, they are anxious and overwhelmed, feeling that, no matter how hard they try, they will never be smart enough, successful enough, pretty enough, thin enough, popular enough, or sexy enough. Rachel Simmons has been researching young women for two decades, and her research plainly shows that girl competence does not equal girl confidence—nor does it equal happiness, resilience, or self-worth. Backed by vivid case studies, Simmons warns that we have raised a generation of young women so focused on achieving that they avoid healthy risks, overthink setbacks, and suffer from imposter syndrome, believing they are frauds. As they spend more time projecting an image of effortless perfection on social media, these girls are prone to withdraw from the essential relationships that offer solace and support and bolster self-esteem. Deeply empathetic and meticulously researched, Enough As She Is offers a clear understanding of this devastating problem and provides practical parenting advice—including teaching girls self-compassion as an alternative to self-criticism, how to manage overthinking, resist the constant urge to compare themselves to peers, take healthy risks, navigate toxic elements of social media, prioritize self-care, and seek support when they need it. Enough As She Is sounds an alarm to parents and educators, arguing that young women can do more than survive adolescence. They can thrive. Enough As She Is shows us how. According to Simmons (Odd Girl Out; The Curse of the Good Girl), founder of the nonprofit Girls Leadership, toxic messages about success and a burning drive to achieve no matter the cost have resulted in a 25 percent increase in already skyrocketing teen depression rates. The author describes how society pushes a "develop confidence" message to young women, which becomes code for yet another area to work on, in an era in which Supergirl is the baseline. At the same time, social media has contributed to teens disconnecting from parents and friendships—those relationships that are the most vital to their growth and resiliency. Meanwhile, parents themselves struggle with myths that tarnish their relationships with their teenager as they come up against a culture that advocates hyperattentive control of all aspects of their child's life. Here, Simmons interviews 96 girls from a variety of backgrounds to analyze the damaging messages they received ("what you accomplish matters more than what you learn," "everyone is doing better than you") and the often destructive results. She encourages strategies to help steady daughters and propel them forward with new messages, while correcting harmful core beliefs along the way. VERDICT A fascinating read that provides ideas for combatting the "not enough" ideals that are devastating young girls.—Julia M. Reffner, Richmond, VA “If you are a parent or an educator and want to know what stops girls from reaching their full potential and what you can do to make sure she does, please read The Curse of the Good Girl . My deepest hope is that girls realize the importance of what Rachel is saying to them and incorporate it into all of their relationships.” - Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabees on The Curse of the Good Girl “A fascinating read that provides ideas for combatting the “not enough” ideals that are devastating young girls.” - Library Journal “Rachel Simmons’ clear, insightful and practical new book, Enough As She Is , provides a lens through which to understand the phenomenon of self-criticism, perfectionism and body shaming that is feeding this crisis.” - bookclique “ Enough As She Is  shows parents, educators and girls what it means to try to achieve at almost any cost — amplified by social media. That includes pressure to be admitted to just-the-right college — and in some cases just-the-right high school —  coupled with unrealistic body-shape expectations.” - USA Today “This book is a rare find for any parent or mentor of a girl child. It exposes the abject harm of today’s per