Bill The Vampire: A Vampire Horror Comedy (The Tome of Bill)

Bill The Vampire: A Vampire Horror Comedy (The Tome of Bill)

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM. My name's Bill and I have no life, but not because I enjoy video games or D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman worth dying for. So, I did. Problem is, I didn't stay dead. Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by undead freaks who are stronger and faster than me - not to mention better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche-canoe called Night Razor, hates my guts. It might be because he can't control me, or maybe it's because he's a dick. Whatever the case, he's given me just ninety days to prove I'm not an embarrassment to his coven. If I fail, my ass is toast. Too bad my friends are more interested in setting me on fire, while Sally's using me as her personal stepstool in the vamp hierarchy. Things don't look good. I might be a blood-sucking predator of the night, but I'm still at the bottom of the food chain. ---------- Bram Stoker meets Shaun of the Dead in The Tome of Bill, the hilarious horror comedy series that will keep you laughing from dusk till dawn. If you're a fan of Hunter Blain, Steve McHugh, Christopher Moore, or What We Do in the Shadows, this vampire comedy will leave you thirsting for more. Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor "Many times, I found myself smiling if not outright chuckling at the witty one-liners that his characters presented as well as the situations that they found themselves in as the story unfolded." - J.L. Whitehead from Examiner.com " Rick Gualtieri brings something to the vampire genre that has not been seen before and I love it!" "There are many parts throughout the series that had me cracking up " "I would definitely suggest this to those who like raunchy, nerdy, vampire stories. As in, go read and/or listen to this! " "This is freaking hilarious! " "His quips and remarks remind me of Ash from Army of Darkness or Jack Burton from John Carpenters Big Trouble in Little China ." "The characters are amazing , the writing is solid, and the books have had me laughing out loud at times." "This is one of the funniest thing I have ever read. I had tears running down my face. " "I'm not sure if I'm exaggerating here, but it's been a while that I've been this excited after reading a first book in a new urban fantasy series ." "If this doesn't get turned into a movie I will give up on Hollywood forever." Rick Gualtieri loves adventure, snarky dialogue, and mayhem. So it's only natural that his bestselling Tome of Bill series kicks the mired status quo of vampire fiction straight in the teeth with its mix of supernatural chaos and geeky humor. It's time to make fantasy fun again. Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them - Defilers Beware!