No More Meltdowns: Positive Strategies for Managing and Preventing Out-Of-Control Behavior

No More Meltdowns: Positive Strategies for Managing and Preventing Out-Of-Control Behavior

It could happen anywhere: at the grocery store, at a restaurant, at school, or at home. Meltdowns are stressful for both child and adult, but Dr. Baker can help! Author of the award-winning Social Skills Picture Book series, Dr. Jed Baker offers parents and teachers strategies for preventing and managing meltdowns. Over twenty years of experience working with children on the autism spectrum combined with his personal experiences raising his own children have yielded time-tested strategies―and results! Dr. Baker offers an easy-to-follow, four-step model that will improve your everyday relationships with the children in your life, including managing your own emotions by adjusting your expectations, learning strategies to calm a meltdown in the moment, understanding why a meltdown occurs, and creating plans to prevent future meltdowns. Helpful chapters include: : Meltdowns: When rewards and punishments are not enough What are meltdowns made of? Accepting and appreciating our children De-escalating a meltdown Understanding why repeat problems occur Creating a prevention plan And more! "Jed Baker, in this excellent book, gives us the tools to deal with and prevent out-of-control behavior. Wisely, he leads us grown-ups to understand how to change our own behavior in order to help our children change theirs." Carol Stock Kranowitz "Author of best-seller The Out-of-Sync Child " Jed Baker, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist with over 12 years experience leading therapeutic groups with children, adults and families. He is a behavioral consultant for several New Jersey school systems, providing social skills training for students with pervasive developmental disorders and learning disabilities. In addition, he writes, lectures, and provides training throughout the Northeast on social skills training for individuals with Asperger Syndrome and related pervasive developmental disorders. No More Meltdowns Positive Strategies for Managing and Preventing Out-of-Control Behavior By Jed Baker Future Horizons, Inc. Copyright © 2008 Jed Baker All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-932565-62-1 Contents Foreword, ix, Introduction, xiii, The Problem, Chapter 1 Meltdowns: When rewards and punishments are not enough, 3, Chapter 2 Chapter 2: What are meltdowns made of?, 13, The Solution, Chapter 3 Accepting and appreciating our children, 23, Chapter 4 De-escalating a meltdown, 35, Chapter 5 Understanding why repeat problems occur, 47, Chapter 6 Creating a prevention plan, 57, Plans for the Four Types of Meltdown Situations, Chapter 7 Demands, 69, Chapter 8 Waiting, 93, Chapter 9 Threats to self-image, 109, Chapter 10 Unmet wishes for attention, 125, Chapter 11 Closing thoughts: Finding your own way, 145, References, 149, CHAPTER 1 MELTDOWNS: When Rewards and Punishments are Not Enough What is a Meltdown? The family of a first-grader came to see me with concerns about their son. He had a challenging Kindergarten year. The school described him as a bright young boy with unpredictable outbursts. I met with his mother alone to get the background information on him. She explained how kind he was, yet misunderstood by those at school. The next week Mom brought him in to see me. He entered the waiting room with a Game Boy in hand. I said with a cheerful tone, "Hi Chris, it's so good to meet you." He would not look up at me or respond, just continued with his Game Boy. I knew from his history that he could hear me. I tried to win him over, "Chris, what's that? A Game Boy? Can I see?" No response again. I said, "Can we talk for just a moment, you can bring your Game Boy in with you." No response. I turned to Mom and asked what she usually does when this happens. She said, out loud, that she might take the Game Boy away. I said, trying to be positive, "Wait, don't do that. Chris, why don't you just bring the Game Boy in with you." He then put his fingers in his ears as I spoke and said, "Na, na, na, na," ignoring me. I felt pretty powerless, much as I had the night before with my own kids when they ignored my efforts to get them to bed. This did not feel good. I began to wonder if it might be easier to work with adults, and let the rest of my staff work with the younger kids. Nevertheless, I tried one more thing, I took off my shoe, put a pencil up my nose and spoke into the shoe, "Chris, hello Chris, are you there?" I saw him smile. Without a word he followed me into my office. I knew we were not home free yet, given our shaky start. I decided to quickly implement a little reward program to get him in a good mood. Mom told me he loved chocolate so I told him, "Every time you talk with me I am going to give you one of these fake dollars, and when you get five of them, you can have any of the chocolates in my bag over there." I began by asking him non-threatening questions like what his Dad's name was, his brothers', etc. Within a minute he earned five of the fake dollars. I said, "Look how ma