Stuff Hipsters Hate: A Field Guide to the Passionate Opinions of the Indifferent

Stuff Hipsters Hate: A Field Guide to the Passionate Opinions of the Indifferent

"Depressingly astute." --The New Yorker "Wickedly funny." --The Frisky From the dive bars of Brooklyn's Williamsburg to the dirty alleys of San Francisco's Mission, the urban hipster has redefined American cool with a sighing disdain for everything mainstream. Hipsters are easily identified by their worn-out shoes, fixies and PBR tallboys, but until now no one had investigated beyond the hipster look to the even more hilarious hipster psyche. With personally researched articles, revealing illustrations and helpful charts and graphs, Stuff Hipsters Hate exposes the bottomless well of impassioned scorn that motivates the ever-apathetic hipster, including: MATING AND SOCIAL HATES buying you a drink monogamy texting back in a timely fashion APPAREL AND GROOMING HATES high heels muscles being asked about their tattoos WORK AND LIFE HATES full-time jobs knowing their bank balance enthusiasm Brenna Ehrlich works as a news editor and blogger for Mashable.com. Andrea Bartz is an editor at Psychology Today and has written for SELF , Money magazine, SirensMag.com, Heeb and an array of alternative weeklies. Stuff Hipsters Hate: Being Conventionally Attractive In the hipster world, being hot is a lot less important than being “interesting-looking.” While a dude with close-cropped hair, a chiseled jaw and a swimmer’s physique may be a prime physical specimen to the rest of society, to a hipster he’s pretty much a nonentity. Let us suppose that people only really take note of the members of the opposite sex that they find attractive, rendering the rest of society invisible: When a hipster walks into, say, Abercrombie & Fitch, it is as if she is walking into a room bereft of humanity, filled only with douchey clothing. In order to make oneself visible, and therefore sexually viable to a hipster girl, one must find a way in which to distinguish oneself from the cellophane crowd. Really, it’s simple mathematics. Take one attractive man and add one (or all) of the following: A mullet Over-sized, “nerd” glasses A coloring book of half-finished tattoos Fucked-up orthodontia (there’s a reason Death Cab For Cutie has a whole fucking song called “Crooked Teeth”) An anachronistic ‘stache And what do you get? Tragically marred beauty. And there’s nothing hipsters love more than tragedy. Note: This method can also save out-right ugly dudes from living the celibate life. It’s amazing what a well-placed tat and some camouflaging facial hair can do for a guy who would otherwise be spending his Saturday nights watching My So-Called Life next to a box of tissues…for the tears…