Overcoming Life's Disappointments: Learning from Moses How to Cope with Frustration

Overcoming Life's Disappointments: Learning from Moses How to Cope with Frustration

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “No human relationship is without betrayal, irritation and annoyance, but Kushner makes clear that it’s what we do about such obstacles that matter” (Los Angeles Times Book Review) in this best-selling guide to being your best self, even when things don’t turn out as you’d hoped. The beloved author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Rabbi Harold S. Kushner here turns to the experience of Moses to find the requisite lessons of strength and faith—the lessons that teach us how to overcome the disappointments that life inherently brings. We can learn how to meet all disappointments with faith in ourselves and the future, and how to respond to heartbreak—how to weather the disillusionment of dreams unfulfilled, the pain of a lost job, divorce or abandonment, illness, and more—with understanding rather than bitterness and despair. With Kushner’s signature warmth, Overcoming Life’s Disappointments is a book of spiritual wisdom—as practical as it is inspiring. “No human relationship is without betrayal, irritation and annoyance, but Kushner makes clear that it’s what we do about such obstacles that matter." — Los Angeles Times Book Review “Compassionate and wise, Rabbi Kushner is a master of the story that heals.” —Deborah Tannen, author of You’re Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation “An articulate, no-nonsense treatise.... A readably inspirational homily leavened with subtle humor.... Kushner's book can serve to fortify us in times of loss and frustration.” — The Jerusalem Report HAROLD S. KUSHNER was rabbi laureate of Temple Israel in Natick, Massachusetts, having long served that congregation. The author of more than a dozen books on coping with life’s challenges, he is best known as the author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People . He died in 2023. 1The Man Who Dared to Dream What happens to a dream deferred?Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Langston Hughes, “Harlem”In these lines, the poet Langston Hughes wonders what happens to dreams that don’t come true. I wonder what happens to the dreamer. How do people cope with the realization that important dimensions of their lives will not turn out as they hoped they would? A person’s marriage isn’t all he or she anticipated. Someone doesn’t get the promotion or the recognition he had set his heart on. Many of us look at the world and see two groups of people, winners and losers: those who get what they want out of life and those who don’t. But in reality life is more complicated than that. Nobody gets everything he or she yearns for. I look at the world and see three sorts of people: those who dream boldly even as they realize that a lot of their dreams will not come true; those who dream more modestly and fear that even their modest dreams may not be realized; and those who are afraid to dream at all, lest they be disappointed. I would wish for more people who dreamed boldly and trusted their powers of resilience to see them through the inevitable disappointments.History is written by winners, so most history books are about people who win. Most biographies, excluding works of pure scholarship, are meant to inspire as much as to inform, so they focus on a person’s successes. But in real life, even the most successful people see some of their efforts fail and even the greatest of people learn to deal with failure, rejection, bereavement, and serious illness.The lessons of this book will come in large part from examining the life of one of the most influential people who ever lived, Moses, the hero of the Bible, the man who brought God’s word down to earth from the mountaintop. When we think of Moses, we think of his triumphs: leading the Israelites out of slavery, splitting the Red Sea, ascending Mount Sinai to receive the tablets of the law. But Moses was a man who knew frustration and failure in his public and personal life at least as often and as deeply as he knew fulfillment, and we, whose lives are also a mix of fulfillment and disappointment, can learn from his experiences. If he could overcome his monumental disappointments, we can learn to overcome ours.What can we learn from Moses’ story to help my congregant who is overlooked for a promotion or the elderly man or woman whose children and grandchildren ignore him or her? What can I learn from Moses to share with all the wives and husbands who find it hard to feel affectionate toward a mate who takes them for granted? Let us turn to the story of Moses, the man who dared to dream, to see what lessons it reveals.Nobel Prize winner Elie Wiesel has written in Messengers of God that Moses was “the most solitary and the most powerful hero in biblical history . . . the man who changed the course of history by himself. After him, nothing was the same again.” He goes on: “His passion for social justice, his struggle for national liberation, his triumphs and disappointments, his poetic inspiration, his gifts as a strategist