My Life as a Russian Novel: A Memoir

My Life as a Russian Novel: A Memoir

An unsparingly truthful account of love, betrayal, and the traps we set for ourselves, by France's master of psychological suspense In work after work, the critically acclaimed author Emmanuel Carrère has trained his unblinking gaze on the lives of others as they fight a losing battle with that most fearsome of adversaries—the self. Now, determined to escape the bleak visions of his narratives, he takes on a film project in the heart of Russia while also embarking on a new love affair back home in Paris. But soon enough, the diversion he seeks eludes him, intimacy proves too arduous, and Carrv®re is left peering into the dark mirror of his own life. Set in Paris and Kotelnich, a small post-Soviet town, My Life as a Russian Novel traces Carrère's pursuit of two obsessions—the disappearance of his Russian grandfather and his erotic fascination with a woman he loves but cannot keep from destroying. In prose that is elegant and passionate, Carrère weaves the strands of his story into a travelogue of a journey inward. Road trip, confession, erotic tour de force—this fearless reckoning illuminates the schemes we devise to evade ourselves and the inevitable payment they exact. In this tepid memoir, acclaimed French novelist Carrere turns his critical eye on himself, recounting a disappointing documentary-film endeavor and a deteriorating romance. The discovery of a Hungarian prisoner of war brings Carrere to the tiny post-Soviet town of Kotelnich, but the dead-end story crushes his hopes for an interesting film project. Though rural Kotelnich is hopelessly dull, Carrere decides to stay. He'll cover the town's poor, hard-working residents, including a bodybuilder who helps reform wayward young men and a local girl aspiring to be the next Britney Spears. More important, he'll look into the mysterious disappearance of his Russian grandfather. In between trips, Carrere laments the precarious state of his love affair with sexy Sophie, who lives with him in Paris. She's become pregnant by another lover but aborts the child, insisting Carrere is the one she loves. Journalist and filmmaker Carrere interweaves passages of deep introspection with racy love scenes that seem inserted purely for effect. Rich, evocative prose is the main appeal here, as the memoir itself tends to wander, trying to cover too much. --Allison Block “Carrère brings the whole to sharp focus with a few jarring truths and a moment of great beauty. You leave its last pages with a deep appreciation for life.” — Washington Post  “An elegant, emotional self-examination, full of bleak but truthful insights about the lies and compromises of love.”— The Times (UK) “Brims with ideas and incidents... Gripping and fascinating, an intimate portrait of a complicated man's inner life and his struggles to find some kind of happiness and fulfilment.”— The Guardian ( UK) “Fascinating, troubling... Mesmerizing.”— The Times (UK) “Lucid and compelling... Carrère pushes candor to quite pitiless extremes. This book is very much at the crossroads of writing-as-therapy and the sort of fact-fiction blurring that fans of WG Sebald and Geoff Dyer will appreciate.”— The Independent (UK) “Even by the high standards set by his earlier books, Emmanuel Carrère’s My Life as A Russian Novel is a masterpiece, a searingly candid, breathtakingly beautiful exploration of territories both far and near: Russia and France; the past and the present; brutality and love; the inscrutable desires of the other and the often equally unfathomable motivations of the self. This is an unforgettable book from the most original, exciting, and important figure in contemporary French literature.” —Caroline Weber, author of Queen of Fashion: What Marie Antoinette Wore to the Revolution  “Emmanuel Carrère has written a work of infinite sorrow, infernal jealousy, and violent passion. My Life as a Russian Novel dazzles. “ — Le Monde  “An exceptional book in which the adversary, this time, is Carrère himself, revealed in a lucid, unflinching analysis…. Remarkable.” — Le Figaro   Emmanuel Carrère, novelist, filmmaker, journalist, and biographer, is the award-winning internationally renowned author of The Adversary (a New York Times Notable Book), Lives Other Than My Own , My Life As A Russian Novel , Class Trip and The Mustache . Carrère lives in Paris. 1 The train is humming along, it's nighttime, Sophie and I are making love in the berth and it really is her. In my erotic dreams, my partners are usually several women at once and difficult to identify, but this time, no: I recognize Sophie's voice, her words, her spread legs. In the sleeping car compartment where we have so far been alone, another couple turns up, the Fujimoris. Mme Fujimori hops right into bed with us. The entente is immediately cordiale, with much merriment. Supported by Sophie in an acrobatic position, I enter Mme Fujimori, who soon comes ecstatically. M. Fujimori now announces that the train has stopped. It's sitting