Creating Love: The Next Great Stage of Growth

Creating Love: The Next Great Stage of Growth

“Why are so many of us at times completely baffled by a relationship? How can we think we know someone so well and admit in the end that we hardly knew that person at all? Why do many people who work diligently and strenuously to gain wholeness and balance still feel so frustrated about having a fulfilling relationship? Why have so many people given up on love?” —from the Prologue John Bradshaw’s bestselling books and compelling PBS series have touched and changed millions of lives. Now, in Creating Love , he offers us a new way to understand our most crucial relationships—with our romantic partners and spouses, with our parents and children, with friends and co-workers, with ourselves, and with God. Bradshaw’s compassionate approach shows that many of us have been literally “entranced” by past experiences of counterfeit love, so we unknowingly re-create patterns that can never fulfill us. Here he provides both the insights and the precise tools we need to keep those destructive patterns from repeating in the present. And then he shows how we can open ourselves to the soul-building work of real love—and create healthy, loving relationships where we can be fully ourselves in every part of our lives. "In Creating Love , John Bradsgaw provides a new way to understand our most crucial relationships: with parents and children, with friends and co-workers, with ourselves, and with God. He shows us how we have been literally "entranced" by past experiences of counterfeit love, how we can break these destructive patterns, and how we can open ourselves to the soul-building work of real love. John Bradshaw has touched and changed millions of lives through his nationally televised PBS series and his best-selling books. His previous book, Homecoming , introduced the concept of the inner child to a vast new audience. Now he defines the "next great stage of growth"--how we can work to create healthy, loving relationships in every part of our lives. Written for everyone who has struggled with painful relationships and is seeking hope and a new direction, Creating Love is a life-changing book. In Creating Love , John  Bradsgaw provides a new way to understand our most  crucial relationships: with parents and children, with  friends and co-workers, with ourselves, and with  God. He shows us how we have been  literally "entranced" by past  experiences of counterfeit love, how we can break these  destructive patterns, and how we can open ourselves to  the soul-building work of real  love. John Bradshaw has touched and changed millions of  lives through his nationally televised PBS series  and his best-selling books. His previous book,   Homecoming , introduced the concept  of the inner child to a vast new audience. Now he  defines the "next great stage of  growth"--how we can work to create healthy, loving  relationships in every part of our  lives. Written for everyone who has struggled with  painful relationships and is seeking hope and a new  direction, Creating Love is a  life-changing book. In Creating Love , John  Bradsgaw provides a new way to understand our most  crucial relationships: with parents and children, with  friends and co-workers, with ourselves, and with  God. He shows us how we have been  literally "entranced" by past  experiences of counterfeit love, how we can break these  destructive patterns, and how we can open ourselves to  the soul-building work of real  love. John Bradshaw has touched and changed millions of  lives through his nationally televised PBS series  and his best-selling books. His previous book,   Homecoming , introduced the concept  of the inner child to a vast new audience. Now he  defines the "next great stage of  growth"--how we can work to create healthy, loving  relationships in every part of our  lives. Written for everyone who has struggled with  painful relationships and is seeking hope and a new  direction, Creating Love is a  life-changing book. John Bradshaw was educated for the Roman Catholic priesthood and took advanced degrees in psychology, philosophy, and theology before becoming a professional counselor. He is the author of such major bestsellers as Family Secrets , Healing the Shame That Binds You , Homecoming , and Creating Love . He lives in Houston, Texas, and gives lectures and workshops nationwide. CHAPTER 1     Mystified Love   For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish. ROMANS 7:19   The mass of mankind live lives of quiet desperation. HENRY DAVID THOREAU   In my early teens I worked as a grocery checker at Butera’s Food Market in Houston, Texas. I was, like most young teenage boys, obsessed with thoughts about sex. One of my unofficial jobs at Butera’s was to be on the lookout for specimens of female pulchritude. When a good-looking girl came in the store, I’d press a buzzer to alert Leon in the produce department and Bubba and Phil in the meat market so that they could come and lo