My Weird School #1: Miss Daisy Is Crazy!

My Weird School #1: Miss Daisy Is Crazy!

With more than 31 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading! In the first My Weird School book  ever , second-grade teacher Miss Daisy is in over her head at Ella Mentary School. She doesn't even know how to add or subtract! But the students, like A.J. and his friends, have other things on their minds. Principal Klutz has promised their class that if they read a million pages in books, they can turn the school into a video-game arcade for one whole night! Perfect for reluctant readers and word lovers alike, Dan Gutman’s insanely popular My Weird School series has something for everyone. Don’t miss the hilarious adventures of A.J. and the gang! Start at the very beginning of this hit chapter book series with My Weird School #1: Miss Daisy Is Crazy! Never before has school been this mixed up—or this much fun! Miss Daisy, who teaches second grade, doesn't know how to add or subtract. Not only that, she doesn't know how to read or write, either. She is the dumbest teacher in the history of the world! Dan Gutman is the New York Times bestselling author of the Genius Files series; the Baseball Card Adventure series, which has sold more than 2 million copies around the world; and the My Weird School series, which has sold more than 37 million copies. Thanks to his many fans who voted in their classrooms, Dan has received nineteen state book awards and ninety-two state book award nominations. He lives in New York City with his wife. You can visit him online at dangutman.com. Jim Paillot lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn’t that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at jimpaillot.com. My Weird School #1 Miss Daisy Is Crazy! By Gutman, Dan HarperTrophy ISBN: 0060507004 Chapter One "My name is A.J. I like football and video games, and I hate school." Our teacher, Miss Daisy, was taking attendance. It was the first day of second grade. Miss Daisy told everyone in the class to stand up, say our name, and say something about ourself. All the kids laughed when I said I hated school. But there was nothing funny about it. I have learned a lot in my eight years. One thing I learned is that there is no reason why kids should have to go to school. If you ask me, kids can learn all we need to learn by watching TV. You can learn important information like which breakfast cereal tastes best and what toys you should buy and which shampoo leaves your hair the shiniest. This is stuff that we'll need to know when we grow up. School is just this dumb thing that grown-ups thought up so they wouldn't have to pay for baby-sitters. When I grow up and have children of my own, I won't make them go to school. They can just ride their bikes and play football and video games all day. They'll be happy, and they'll think I'm the greatest father in the world. But for now, I wanted to let my new teacher Miss Daisy know from the very start how I felt about school. "You know what, A.J.?" Miss Daisy said, "I hate school too." "You do?" We all stared at Miss Daisy. I thought teachers loved school. If they didn't love school, why did they become teachers? Why would they ever want to go to a school as a grown-up? I know that when I'm a grownup, I'm not going to go anywhere near a school. "Sure I hate school," Miss Daisy continued. "If I didn't have to be here teaching you, I could be home sitting on my comfortable couch, watching TV and eating bonbons." "Wow!" we all said. "What's a bonbon?" asked Ryan, a kid with black sneakers who was sitting next to me. "Bonbons are these wonderful chocolate treats," Miss Daisy told us. "They're about the size of a large acorn, and you can pop the whole thing right in your mouth so you don't need a napkin. I could eat a whole box of bonbons in one sitting." "They sound delicious!" said Andrea Young, a girl with curly brown hair. She was sitting up real straight in the front of the class with her hands folded like they were attached to each other. Miss Daisy seemed like a pretty cool lady, for a teacher. Anybody who hated school and liked to sit around watching TV and eating chocolate treats was okay by me. Me and Miss Daisy had a lot in common. Maybe going to school wouldn't be so terrible after all. Miss Daisy said it was time for us to clear off our desks and see how much we knew about arithmetic. Ugh! "If I gave you fifty-eight apples and Principal Klutz took twenty-eight of them away," Miss Daisy asked, "how many apples would you have left? A.J.?" "Who cares how many apples you would have left?" I said. "I hate apples. If you ask me, you and Principal Klutz can take all the apples away and it wouldn't bother me one bit." "You would have thirty apples," said that girl Andrea Young in the front of the class. She had a big smile on her face, like she had just opened all her birthday presents. Andrea Young thinks she's so smart. "I hate arithmetic," I announced. "You know what?" Miss Daisy said. "